We are pleased to showcase the poetry of Elizabeth Shane, whose writing has been a great comfort to many survivors of sexual abuse. ‘Metronomic Robots’ is the third in a series of five of Elizabeth’s poems.
So many questions, so many lies, so many nights wondering why
Perhaps I will crawl inside my head, a safe place to be, no one will ever find me
Am I mad? Too many voices, the loudest of all, none are good choices
Climb out my body, let the robot walk away, it will continue the day
Glazed look, the robot is speaking, not realising it’s your voice that’s shrieking
Only they don’t hear, the loud drill, a metronomic device making you ill
Out to get you, who is it? Please don’t visit
Clouded vision, is any of it true, all the things that happened to you?
Gathering around you, chanting ghosts, unwanted hosts
Hissing serpents, so many around – what have they found?
A plea for help, blinded by desperation, needing hope and salvation
Only one by one, they turned against you, there was nothing you could do
This is reality, from years of silence, living in a world of hidden violence
Trauma and abuse, subtle colours create false illusions, internal scars filled with confusion
Healing journeys, so many steps to go, not always visible to show
But eventually the body will reunite, reassemble to carry on and fight
Until one day, the armour can be dropped, your internal battle has stopped
Trust in yourself, you know what’s true, let your strength and light shine its way through
© Written by Elizabeth Shane – CSA Survivor (From Behind the Mask)
Elizabeth Shane is an author, poet, mother, community volunteer, survivor of child sexual abuse.
Before writing her first book, ‘Silhouette of a Songbird’, Elizabeth had never read or written any poetry. Her previous counsellor suggested finding a hobby as an outlet which Elizabeth did somewhat reluctantly, joining a community choir. To her surprise, singing in choir had such a positive impact on her mental health, it encouraged Elizabeth to try other creative avenues taking up singing lessons, drama and creative writing to help improve her lack of confidence. With encouragement and support from her drama teacher, Elizabeth began to explore poetry as a creative tool to express all the bottled-up feelings, anger and pain she struggled to articulate as a child through to adulthood.
As well as giving talks about her lived experiences, supporting charities and organisations through writing, podcasts and speaking engagements, Elizabeth received letters from members of the Royal Family in response to offering her book for their charitable causes. Elizabeth uses her poetry to give strength and hope for all those who are searching to make sense of a traumatic past, to empower others to have a voice and right to be heard. She continues to raise awareness of the complexities and impact of childhood trauma to break the stigma and silence around difficult conversations, including the benefits of creative arts.